Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
GOD OF GREED
If ever there was a god to prevent you from worshiping material things, it would be this one. The hideous pig-like thing is the masterpiece by Chinese artist Chen Wenling called God Of Materialism. Looking chuffed, the huge greedy pig has minions of other tiny, and just as unattractive and scary, pigs worshiping in awe at its heels. The group stare up at their master, adorned with a plethora of jewels and necklaces representing the grotesque love of material things. The sculpture, which looks like a bad dream, can be found at the Asia Art Centre in Beijing.
WOOD YOU TWIG IT?
Iguana stuck up tree. Not the usual shout for firefighters to deal with. Even more bizarre when it is the second time in a week the call has come in. But bemused rescuers found that on this occasion it was not an iguana at all that had been spotted 14m (45ft) up by concerned locals – but simply a green-coloured branch. The firefighters used a platform to scale the tree. According to a fire service animal rescue adviser, said: The branch bore a striking resemblance to an iguana when seen from the ground.' AND IT DOES YOU KNOW!
KICK BUTT HERE PLEASE
The Idaho Vandals had an unique problem with their new uniforms as they debuted them in their 70-0 blow-out loss against the University of Arizona. And the problem had nothing to do with the team's "butt-kicking." But have no fear Vandal fans, the offending patch in the most unfortunate of places has been removed from the pants. Yup, the logos were placed right on the player's behinds. There is some disagreement still on just who authorized the placing of the Vandal logo with both Nike and the University of Idaho pointing fingers at each other. With butt-gate, or logo-gate, or what ever you want to call it, the players want to put it, yes, behind them. Rob Spears, the school's athletic director, says nobody realized just how the logo placed in the center of the players' behinds would look before they tried their pants on. Spears told the Idaho Statesman the sewn-in University of Idaho logo has since been hastily removed by equipment managers after complaints. "I was disappointed with the look and the appearance," Spears says. "It's changed."
Friday, September 26, 2008
TOAD 1 SNAKE 0
There's a saying about having eyes too big for your stomach. And for this grass snake, it certainly did bite off more than it could chew. The 1m-long reptile pounced when it came across a fat toad. Only the toad wasn't going down that hole quietly and resolutely stuck its back legs out. After a ten-minute battle, the resilient toad escaped to live another day when the female snake realised it was too big to swallow and regurgitated it. The shots were taken by a housewife from her kitchen window in the back garden of her home. 'It was the kind of thing you would expect to see on a wildlife programme,' she said. 'The toad was probably 4ins long and the snake was definitely taking on quite a challenge – I think it must have realised it wasn't going to make it.'
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
HOW TO PICK YOUR NOSE LIKE A PRIME MINISTER
EIMEAR DID NOT SHOW THIS TO ME NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS HONESTLY I FOUND THIS FIRST - DO NOT LOOK AT HER BLOG!
THESE ADS ARE SUPPOSED TO SELL COMPUTERS?
A baffling Microsoft advert featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates discussing shoes before the software billionaire shakes his behind as he walks across a car park has disappeared from the air after critics described it as "awful" and a "train wreck".
The 90-second spot, one of three adverts for which Seinfeld was paid a reported $10 million, was designed to kick off an ambitious $300 million campaign to relaunch the software company and its troubled Windows Vista operating system. But two weeks after debuting, the three commercials were withdrawn in favour of other adverts in which Seinfeld, whose eponymous hit sitcom ended a decade ago, is replaced by such stars as the actress Eva Longoria and singer Pharrell Williams. The first advert featuring Gates and Seinfeld was met by a collective scratching of heads as viewers struggled to fathom what the two men's oblique and unfunny discussion had to do with computers. Washington-based Microsoft, however, vigorously denied the Gates/Seinfeld adverts were pulled because of their reception and maintained it had always been the plan to replace them after a fortnight with more specific spots focusing on Windows. "The notion that we're doing some quick thing to cancel (the Seinfeld ads) is actually preposterous," Mich Mathews, a senior vice president in Microsoft's central marketing group. He described the three Seinfeld spots as attention-grabbing ice breakers designed to heighten people's interest ahead of the "major message" of the subsequent adverts, entitled Life Without Walls, and said the plan had worked. The Windows-focused campaign is seen as a long-awaited response to the high-profile "I'm a Mac" campaign run by arch rival Apple.
The 90-second spot, one of three adverts for which Seinfeld was paid a reported $10 million, was designed to kick off an ambitious $300 million campaign to relaunch the software company and its troubled Windows Vista operating system. But two weeks after debuting, the three commercials were withdrawn in favour of other adverts in which Seinfeld, whose eponymous hit sitcom ended a decade ago, is replaced by such stars as the actress Eva Longoria and singer Pharrell Williams. The first advert featuring Gates and Seinfeld was met by a collective scratching of heads as viewers struggled to fathom what the two men's oblique and unfunny discussion had to do with computers. Washington-based Microsoft, however, vigorously denied the Gates/Seinfeld adverts were pulled because of their reception and maintained it had always been the plan to replace them after a fortnight with more specific spots focusing on Windows. "The notion that we're doing some quick thing to cancel (the Seinfeld ads) is actually preposterous," Mich Mathews, a senior vice president in Microsoft's central marketing group. He described the three Seinfeld spots as attention-grabbing ice breakers designed to heighten people's interest ahead of the "major message" of the subsequent adverts, entitled Life Without Walls, and said the plan had worked. The Windows-focused campaign is seen as a long-awaited response to the high-profile "I'm a Mac" campaign run by arch rival Apple.
DAVID BLAINE STREET MAGIC
YES THIS IS THE POSTING I STUCK UP AFTER HAVING LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER OUT OF THE STUDIO TO SEE CHRIS (BUSILY PREPPING HIS RED ZONE FILL IN SLOT)LAUGHING HIS PROVERBIAL HOLE OFF AT - SPOTTED TITLE ON SCREEN YOUTUBED IT AND HEY PRESTO UP ON MY BLOG BEFORE HE HAD EVEN FINISHED WATCHING IT HA HA!
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
LITTLE GORDON
A child impersonator of the chef Gordon Ramsay is proving a hit on the internet as he shouts and swears in a spoof of the Kitchen Nightmares TV programme.In one episode, the blonde 9-year-old, dubbed Little Gordon, screams at his mum for putting "anaemic" white bread in his lunch box when he asked for granary. Despite the boys angelic look, the clip shows the boy throwing a ham and cheese sandwich and launching into a Ramsay-style tirade. When the mother walks out crying he unsympathetically remarks: "It's embarrassing. Here comes the water works." Little Gordon, who is played by an actor, is dressed in a chef's trademark white uniform with spiky hair, blues eyes and cheeky grin. The three-part series has attracted over 600,000 views online via video website YouTube plus many more on LittleGordon.com and are part of a recruitment advertising campaign by Caterer.com. In the second video he is seen berating the service at an empty restaurant. Slamming his fist on the table, he asks the manager: "Why exactly have I been waiting an hour for food in an empty restaurant? Come on John, grow some balls. "I ordered the chicken an hour ago and I can only assume you're waiting for the eggs to hatch." In the final episode he launches a long rant at a school dinner lady. "What's the meat content of these sausages? Is there any? Because it tastes like dog ---" he adds "I've been coming here over two years and ever since Margaret became dinner lady she's been out of her depth. "No wonder the kids are now bringing packed lunches." The real Gordon Ramsay, who has seen the video, is very impressed at the likeness of the young actor and his endeavour to mimic him. He even admitted that his son actually believed it was him. "I was with my son Jack and wife Tana when I received a link to the video. I said, 'Look, come and see daddy when he was eight.' "Jack watched it and got upset because he thought I was talking to his grandma like that." The chef added that: "For the last 24 hours I've been trying to tell him that it's not me, but he's absolutely convinced that it is." Writing on the website, Little Gordon says he is "on a personal mission to rid the world of rubbish food and pathetic service." Despite the obvious resemblance to Gordon Ramsay, the company denied the character was based on the famous chef. HMMM WHO ARE THEY TRYING TO KID....
THINGS YOU DON'T SAY TO YOUR WIFE
TIM HAWKINS TAKE A BOW
From timhawkins.net
Want clean comedy with an edge? Tim Hawkins brings the funny.
Hawkins has been accused of being equally gifted and twisted. Whatever your take, he has indeed become one of the most in-demand comics in the country. His arsenal is unique: high energy stand-up, physical comedy, slick guitar skills, a thousand faces and voices, improvisational chops. It all combines to create an insane comedy experience. And yes, the guy can really sing. “People think I live a rock-star life”, said Hawkins. “Believe me, Mick Jagger never gets lost in a Hertz parking lot looking for his Ford Focus.”
Tim is a busy comic… and getting busier. He is already on track for 120 events in 30 states in 2008 including churches, corporations, comedy clubs, and colleges. A former All-American baseball player, he traded the sports stage for the comedy stage and never looked back. The St. Louis native taught himself to play guitar and tested the waters at area comedy clubs. But over the next 10 years, working to support his family was full-time. Comedy was only part-time. By 2002, Hawkins was ready to launch his full-time career as a professional comedian.
His art form was honed primarily in churches, with a brief 6-month stint performing in prisons as part of Chuck Colson’s Prison Fellowship. Since his shows ranged from little kids to youth groups to married adults, he had to develop material that would hit a wide age range. “Survival mode, pure and simple. I learned comedy in front of a lot of multi-generational audiences, so I had to find material that would cater to all ages. It’s a thrill to provide a family connection where they can share the experience… and then take a DVD home for another family comedy night. But really, I think my fans are probably just the same people who voted for Sanjaya.”
Tim’s “Full Range of Motion” concert DVD won the 2007 Crown Award for Best Comedy and has aired as a prime time special on Sky Angel, the NRB Network, and The Worship Network. And he recently visited the Funny Bone Comedy Club in Columbus, Ohio, to film his 2nd TV special for the comedy series “Bananas”, winner of a Regional Emmy.
Even though Hawkins recently headlined at the Tempe (AZ) Improv, he determined early in his career that he did not want to focus on the comedy club circuit alone. “People love stand-up, but many choose not to go to comedy clubs. So we’ve gone underground, even counter-culture in a way. And it’s a blast.”
With 4 kids of his own and a wife who is winning her battle with breast cancer, Hawkins gets new material daily from the perils of marriage and parenting. But it must be difficult to work clean all the time, right? “Clean comedy is easy. Funny comedy is hard.” So does Tim think he’s funny? “I'm not bragging, but one time I told a joke in front of a dead bird, and it flew away. And you can Google that.”
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
TOP PRANKING ON LIVE TV
The bankruptcy of a major banking giant is a serious matter – but not for these two US jokers. During a recent live CNN report announcing Lehman Brothers' filing for bankruptcy, two men are seen behind the reporter – who is apparently oblivious – getting it on Marvin Gaye style. The pranksters, who in fact star in The Howard Stern Show in the US, execute a make-out scene with caricature clichéd moves and priceless comic timing. In the throes of passion, there is nipple licking with the tousling of hair to repay the favour.When the live stream returns to the studio, a female broadcaster comments on the fiery fusion of man love calling it, 'Two guys… just obviously trying to make light of a bad situation pretending to “console” each other.'” Sure, you can call it that but 'genius' might be even more politically correct.
Quantum of Solace (2008) - "Coke Zero Trailer"
Rock's resident loudmouth Noel Gallagher has taken a pot shot at Jack White for writing the new Bond theme tune. The Oasis guitarist laid into The White Stripes singer for being chosen to create the theme tune for "Quantum Of Solace" and claimed that he had produced his own version. "It's a pisstake that the greatest British agent of all time has to be soundtracked by a bunch of f****** Americans," he told NME. "I've written a couple of theme tunes. They haven't got very Bond-esque titles, so I would have to tailor the title accordingly." "The latest one that I wrote, I listened back to it thinking, '"F****** hell, man! That'd make a f****** great Bond theme.' Last week, an instrumental version of "Another Way To Die", which White produced and recorded with Alicia Keys, was premiered on an advert for Coke Zero. White reportedly blasted the use of the song on the commercial saying he had been commissioned by the film company to write a song for "Quantum Of Solace" and "not for Coca Cola". "Any other use of the song is based on decisions made by others, not by Jack White," his management said in a statement. "We are disappointed that you first heard the song in a co-promotion for Coke Zero, rather than in its entirety."
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Hookers and Blow: Welcome to the Republican Convention
What a shame for Republican delegates that Hurricane Gustav put an end to the partying the other week. It was announced that only "absolutely necessary" components of the Convention in Mineappolis would be taking place. Like a boat party - paid for by chemical industries, a "pig roast and reggae" event paid for by the oil industry, and a National Rifle Association party that was provided with Hookers and Blow, the name of the resident band for the evening. Brilliant!
Monday, September 15, 2008
WELL DONE REBELETTES!
PARTICULARLY EMER O'FARRELL FROM ALL AT APPLE COMPUTERS - THANKS FOR THE PIC LADS & LASSIES!
Friday, September 12, 2008
BLAST FROM THE PAST ANTHEM SUGGESTION
GREAT LISTENER ANTHEM SUGGESTION WITH AN EVOCATIVE STORY TOO - GOOD WORK VIANNEY - CHECK THIS OUT - WHAT ABOUT THE STYLE NOT TO MENTION THE DANCE AND THE FLUTE CLASS!
Going up the country by canned heat . This was my song driving up west coast highway 2 city beach in perth after work with my feet sticking out the window with my now husband diarmuid . Twenty on years later . They were my free spirit years . Vianney . Love that song .
Going up the country by canned heat . This was my song driving up west coast highway 2 city beach in perth after work with my feet sticking out the window with my now husband diarmuid . Twenty on years later . They were my free spirit years . Vianney . Love that song .
Thursday, September 11, 2008
GIANT ICE PENIS
If there was any doubt about the terrible threat that global warming poses to humanity, then it can now be dismissed - as this shocking photograph proves that climate change is turning icebergs into giant penises.
The cockberg was photographed by Andy Rouse* in the Bransfield Strait near Antarctica.
Experts now believe** that it is only a matter of time before an armada of penis-shaped chunks begin to break off the Antarctic ice floes, and then roam the oceans wreaking havoc and luring sailors to their doom.
* Sceptical about this name. Andy Rouse? A Rouse? Arouse? But he is real, it turns out, and takes very many nice pictures, most of which aren't penis-related in any way.
** No they don't.
The cockberg was photographed by Andy Rouse* in the Bransfield Strait near Antarctica.
Experts now believe** that it is only a matter of time before an armada of penis-shaped chunks begin to break off the Antarctic ice floes, and then roam the oceans wreaking havoc and luring sailors to their doom.
* Sceptical about this name. Andy Rouse? A Rouse? Arouse? But he is real, it turns out, and takes very many nice pictures, most of which aren't penis-related in any way.
** No they don't.
DIRTIEST FLAT EVER?
British landlord Chris Dowling could be the unfortunate owner of the worlds dirtiest flat.When he visited an apartment recently vacated by a tenant, the entire living area of the flat was crammed full of discarded polystyrene burger cartons worth £5,000. When he did manage to clear a path through the rubbish, he was in for a further shock. In the bathroom a large pile of cigarette stubs appeared to be carefully stacked on the side of the sink. Stunned by the state of his £100,000 studio flat, Mr Dowling called in professional cleaners and decorators to sort it out. They shifted the burger carton mountain and takeaway detritus into a large van, packing it to the rafters, before visiting a nearby tip for disposal. The tenant had accumulated the mess during over about two years. There were more than 1,000 takeaway cartons and containers in the 15ft by 11ft living area of the flat. Mr Dowling, who runs 46 homes, said: "The tenant had been smoking without opening windows and there were nicotine stains dripping from the walls. It smelt like a giant ashtray. "There were McDonalds and Kentucky Fried Chicken containers everywhere. I couldn't get through to get to the kitchen and they were stacked all around the bed. You couldn't see any part of the floor in the living area. "In all my 15 years of running properties I have never come across anything like this before and we see all sorts." Mr Dowling said he had rented the flat in Slough, Berks, to the single man in December 2005 through an agent. Satisfactory credit checks were completed and the £450-a-month rent was always paid on time by standing order.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
LARGE HADRON COLLIDER RAP
ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW FACT FANS!!
OH AND HEY THE WORLD ISN'T GOING TO END TODAY THEY ARE ONLY TURNING THE FECKIN' THING ON TODAY FOR AN INITIAL TEST THE ACTUAL COLLIDING WON'T HAPPEN FOR QUITE SOME TIME YET...
THE DOG & THE MOBILE PHONE
Nero, a Doberman-Great Dane crossbreed, found his eyes were bigger than his stomach when he snatched a Nokia mobile phone from his owners hand and swallowed it. The giant canine paid the price for his greedy nature, when he was the subject of a major operation leaving him with a large scar and ten stitches on his belly. Nero's owner, Marie Matthews, 67, from Pretoria, South Africa, spoke of how the dog swallowed the phone just over two weeks ago. Her daughter, Driekie Boojens, was busy feeding Nero when he snatched the phone from between her fingers and swallowed it whole. "My daughter screamed terribly because we were scared that Nero would die," recalled Matthews. They immediately took Nero to a local animal clinic where the mobile flashed up in an x-ray. "We were very worried. I couldn't stop crying," said Marie. Nero underwent an operation the next day, and everything went well. The operation cost Matthews and her husband Archie, 72, 6,000 rand (€600). "They not only found the cellphone, but also a lot of stones," she added. The couple had to throw away the phone as it hasn't worked since Nero tucked into it. Archie said Nero was "almost normal". The dog, who will turn 12 in November, has heart problems according to the couple's grandson, Dyllan Armstrong, 13. The Matthews were relieved to have Nero back home.
Monday, September 8, 2008
WHAT A TOSSER
Russian athlete Ivan Ukhov is for the high jump after taking part in a major meet while boozed up on Red Bull and vodka. Track and Field's ruling body want the high jumper to explain his conduct at the Athletissima meet in which rivals said he had been drinking vodka and Red Bull during the competition. Ukhov failed with each attempt to clear the bar before being asked to stop competing at the Swiss meet.
WHAT A TOSSER (2)
AND THE GUY THAT KNOCKED HIM OVER IS A TOSSER TOO!
Oasis star Noel Gallagher was shoved to the ground when a fan ran on to the stage during a set at the V Festival in Toronto, Canada. He was playing his guitar during a performance of Morning Glory when the man pushed him over. The intruder was hauled to the ground by security guards, and Gallagher's brother Liam, who was singing, had to be restrained from retaliating. The rest of the band walked off but the show resumed after a few minutes.
PRICELESS!
You have just walked out of the church after your delightful wedding ceremony and on the church steps, both your families are applauding you with a hundred friends gathered around. The photographer raises his camera and following your family's tradition, both of you are holding beautiful live white doves which you will release together. Bride and groom stand happily shoulder to shoulder with a dove gently held in both hands as everyone eagerly awaits the climax of your marriage vows. The photographer gives the ready signal and you open your hands toward the sky and release the doves as a symbol of your eternal love. Not a dry eye anywhere, such a moving sight, the camera flashes and the moment is captured for all eternity............
BELLYFLOP WHALE STYLEE
THIS IS A 50FT HUMPBACK WHALE LEAPING OUT OF THE SEA - IMAGINE THE FECKIN SPLASH!
WTF?
SOME SORT OF MECHANICAL SPIDER APPEARS TO BE DEVOURING A BUILDING IN LIVERPOOL - MAYBE IT'S SOMETHING TO DO WITH CAPITAL OF CULTURE PERHAPS?
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