Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Snap-Happy Man Meets Snap-Happy Croc


A fisherman got a little bit more than he bargained for when he tried to pose for a snap with a crocodile. While it might seem obvious to most people that crocodiles can be a bit fond of biting people, Israeli Novon Mashiah was apparently oblivious to the danger as he posed, grinning and pointing at the 12ft-long saltwater crocodile. But seconds later, his cockiness turned to panic as the creature lunged at him.'One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture. The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed,' said 27-year-old Mashiah. Luckily for him, the crocodile missed him – landing on the boat before slipping back in the water – and he was able to start his outboard motor and get away. The photos were taken from a larger boat by his friend Doron Aviguy. The two Israelis were both working as fishermen on the ominously-named Southern Alligator River in Australia's Northern Territory.'They come near the boat all the time, probably because we are fishing. I was laughing, but it wasn't funny in the end,' said Mashiah of his impromptu wildlife lesson.'I didn't realise that crocs were so aggressive,' he added.'I was shocked. The animal clearly wanted to kill me.'Which is the last thing you'd expect a crocodile to do, obviously.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Attack of the 122Ft Snow Woman


The world's largest snowwoman has been constructed in Bethel, Maine, beating their own record for building giant snow beings. The snowwoman - named Olympia, in honour of Maine's senior Senator, Olympia Snowe - stands an impressive 122ft 1in tall. Bethel's previous record-breaking snowperson was the 114ft tall Angus, King of the Mountain. That snowman, built in 1999, was named after Maine's then Governor, Angus King.

Ah Come On Now...


Lampposts on East London's Brick Lane have today been wrapped up in padding to protect Britain's clumsy texters. The renowned capital curry haunt has been highlighted as the most dangerous place for mobile phone users to be texting with Londoners frequently picking up injuries ranging from bruises to fractured bones.

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

HOPE THIS MAKES YOU SMILE THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD
Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit. You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan. You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle. You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty. Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle. Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose. When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!
You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!
Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........

Well,

Sorry What?



Parents of the Year Awards 2007










Monday, March 3, 2008

Whale2Tourists: How-a-ye!


These holidaymakers got more than they bargained for as they paddled through the calm waters of the Pacific. A couple were stunned when a humpback whale leapt out of the water near their kayak in Hawaii and came crashing down behind them. Although they were lucky to witness such a spectacular scene, they were also fortunate not to be swamped by the huge splash the whale made as it slapped back down into the water, sending a wall of spray towards them. Clearly alarmed, the holidaymakers paddle desperately towards the shore. In another dramatic encounter, an astonished couple also saw the humpback soar up out of the water before crashing down just yards away. The kayakers had headed off the coast of Maui, where the mammals gather to give birth and nurse their calves in the warm, shallow waters of the archipelago. It is estimated that two thirds of the entire North Pacific population of humpback whales, which normally weigh up to 35 tons, migrate to Hawaii each winter.Their numbers dropped drastically with the onset of mechanised whaling, and it is only recently that the population has begun to edge back up to an estimated figure of 35,000.

Doh A Deer!

Say Hi To Tina

Daughter: My friends and I want to go out tonight.
Mother : Where are ya'll going ?
Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town.
Mother : I don't think you should .. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt.
Daughter : But Mom!! Please!! It'll be okay.
Mother: No!! Your life is more important than going out!
Daughter : But "Tina" is going with us...
Mother: Oh Well! In that case, it should be okay.. Ya'll have fun!