THE DINE-HIGH CLUB??

JUST ONE LITTLE QUESTION - EHHH WHY???????

Dangers of Jumping to Conclusions

CLICK ON PIC TO VIEW PROPERLY

BRITNEY'S SPLASHED OUT ON A NEW GAFF

WTF?????

Can This Be For Real??

How To Stack Tires

Maneating Lion Hugs Woman - Go Figure!

THIS WOMAN FOUND THIS LION, INJURED IN THE FOREST, ON THE VERGE OF DEATH. SHE TOOK THE LION HOME WITH HER AND NURSED IT BACK TO HEALTH. LATER, WHEN THE LION WAS BETTER, SHE MADE ARRANGEMENTS WITH A ZOO TO TAKE THE LION. SOME TIME PASSED BEFORE THE LADY HAD A CHANCE TO VISIT THE ZOO. THIS VIDEO WAS TAKEN WHEN THE WOMAN WALKED UP TO THE LIONS CAGE TO SEE HOW HE WAS DOING. WATCH THE LION'S REACTION WHEN HE SEES HER!

Barack Pitt & Hillary Jolie

Sooo it seems Barack Obmama is a distant cousin of Brad Pitt and Hillary Rodham Clinton is (distantly!) related to Angelina Jolie - Hmmm whatever next well below is a pic that attempts to make sense of all of this...

At last, it's the cross-dressing dwarf Hillary Clinton you have all been waiting for!!!!!

Okay, so, if you're anything like me, one view of the above video of miniature Chilean female impersonator La Pequeña ('the small one') doing Amy Winehouse, your entire being will have been consumed with a burning, insatiable desire to see La Pequeña doing Hillary Clinton in the same style. Well, Christmas just came early folks! Hurrah. That noise you hear is my brain, dripping slowly out of my eyes.

With this endorsement, Hillary surely has the nomination in the bag, unless Obama can magic up a gyrating pint-sized mini-Barack from the dark recesses of the internets before the crucial Pennsylvania primary.

All in all it's enough to give you nightmares....

THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR

A WOMAN was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story

YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read
DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that
you would like to

go out to eat.

(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add
1758...

If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were
born.

You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number.
(I.e., How many times
you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are

YOUR AGE ! ------ (Oh YES, it is!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2008) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO
SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

Nice!

New Entry For 'Parent of the Year' Award

Chinese Eye Test

If you cannot decipher anything, then try pulling the corner of your eyes as if you were Chinese. It works but is it true? Obviously I wouldn't know the answer to that one myself as i made it out first go ha ha!!

Sunset At The North Pole

A scene most of us are unlikely to ever see, sunset at the North Pole with the moon at its closest point. You also see the sun below the moon. An amazing photo and not one easily duplicated.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rgh it pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Dwarf Suit

When staff at a charity shop in Langport, Somerset, opened a bag labelled 'baby clothes', they found a tiny old fasioned three-piece suit inside. Tied to the tailcoat was a tag marked 'dwarf suit'. There was also a note that read: 'James Wilson, Statham Lodge, Cheshire, d (died) 1819, aged 61. The Little Squire.'
The shop's manager Michaela Warner phoned Statham Lodge, which is now a hotel. Co-owner Georgina Walker said the discovery backed up a tale about a dwarf who had lived in the attic of the lodge. 'There are little curved staircases up there and small doors with handles at the bottom,' said Mrs Walker. She and her husband had thought the tale was too odd to be true - until the suit convinced them. They've now bought the outfit and plan to have it framed and displayed in the hotel.

A Celestial Tinkerbell??

Could it be an angel...a celestial Tinkerbell....a heavenly bird? Whatever your take on this recently photographed star constellation, which appears to have a head, body and wings, it's got astronomers excited. Using extremely powerful telescopes, including the famous Hubble Space Telescope, an international team of experts discovered the 'head' of the figure, which they've dubbed 'The Cosmic Bird', is in fact a previously unknown galaxy, which 'merged' with two existing galaxies that make up the 'wings' and 'body'.
Known in stargazing circles as a 'triple merger', this intertwining of star systems is said to be extremly rare.

Would You Do This?

The shark had been lured to the boat with chunks of bait as part of tests on a "Shark Shield'" - an electronic device designed to ward sharks away from surfers.

Now That Takes The Feckin Biscuit That Does...

Andrew Forster's bizarre eating disorder means he cannot eat the meals he cooks up for customers at his restaurant. Instead, the 27-year-old tucks into Blue Ribands, Rich Teas, Clubs and his favourite biscuit, Tunnock's Caramel Wafers. He said: 'I used to get through two packets of biscuits a day. When I was 18 months old, I stopped eating. Experts advised my mum to starve me as I'd eventually eat, but the only thing I'd want was biscuits.' He added: 'Just the thought of eating different foods would make me anxious and I'd start to feel sick. I thought I was going to be like this for the rest of my life.' The phobia meant takeaways, romantic meals out and even weddings were off the menu – as were his own dishes at Sale Pepe restaurant in Durham 'I'd think, “That smells delicious”, but the thought of tasting it would make me feel sick,' said Mr Forster, of Consett, who has appeared on BBC3 show Freaky Eaters. Worried girlfriend Caroline Lister contacted food experts, and a psychologist and a nutritionist are now teaching Mr Forster distraction techniques so he can try new foods.

Frisky Frog Gets Rubber Ducked

A confused frog hopped on board a yellow plastic duck hoping for a bobbin' good time. The four-inch tall duck seems a bit surprised at the sudden slimy embrace from the amphibian. The odd photo was captured by charity worker Mike, 49, in his nine ft by six ft garden pond. Father of two Mike, of Hexham, Northumberland, said: 'I just happened to look out to the garden pond and I saw the yellow duck bobbing about on the surface. 'I thought 'Whatever is going on there?' 'I went to have a look and it was clear the frog had gone a bit barmy and was trying to mate with the duck. I managed to get a photo while it was still clamped onto the duck. 'All my friends think it's a great picture and for some reason it looks as if the duck is in shock.' Mike keeps the toy duck in his garden pond to make sure ice does not completely cover the surface in the winter. 'It's been in there for a few years so this has probably happened quite a lot without me ever noticing before.'

Sperm 4 Tix Scandal!

Friend of mine got a job with this crowd and said that after he had worked 'a week in hand' he started making money 'hand over fist' (thanks Mark in Mayfield)

Free festival tickets to any music festival in Europe are being offered in return for men becoming sperm donors. Passes to a festival of their choice will be offered to any donors in Europe who contribute to Ireland's sperm reserves. The website, Spermfortickets.com, says Irish stocks are dwindling, with demand higher than supply. It says in the last four years, sperm donations have decreased by 40 per cent. The Sperm For Tickets initiative makes use of special donation containers and a fast courier network to offer donation via mail. Anyone in Europe can request a donation pack, indicating which European festival they wish to attend via Spermfortickets.com. It says donors must be physically healthy men from a broad cross section of society who's ages range from 18-50 years.

If ya check the site it has been inundated with requests so is 'on hold' temporarily - guess they just couldn't handle the 'explosion' in interest...

please add all the puns you can think of by coment below....

Starfish & Coffee

This amazing picture shows thousands of dead starfish found along a stretch of English coastline. The five mile tide of starfish has puzzled environmentalists. One theory is the starfish ran out of mussels on the seabed so took risks to go into shallow water to search for food. Another theory is that the starfish were discarded by fishermen after the mussel beds were dredged. The Environment Agency has ruled out any link to climate change or pollution and said the bodies would probably be eaten by seagulls. Perhaps, as the artist once again known as Prince AKA His Horny Purpleness once suggested on his classic album Sign Of The Times, with coffee, maple syrup & jam?? You never know...

Best Name In The World Ever?

OUCH!

British Army medics helped save the life of an Afghan boy who was stabbed in the head with a knife. Doctors at the British military field hospital at Camp Bastion, Helmand Province, Afghanistan, successfully operated to remove the three-inch blade. The 10-year-old boy was stabbed when he tried to protect his father during a row with a male customer in his shop in Kandahar.

The customer lunged for the boy's father and stabbed the boy. The knife went behind his eye and penetrated the front of his brain. The boy's father took him to a military base in Kandahar and pleaded with doctors to save him. Medics there used a portable digital X-ray machine, which produced an image in two minutes, before flying him to Camp Bastion for the operation at a tented field hospital. The boy, who has not been named, amazed medics by walking into the field hospital with the knife embedded in his head on July 14 last year. Surgeons of 212 Field Hospital operated the same night, before handing over to 208 Field Hospital, who administered the aftercare. Major Stephen Gallacher, 49, senior A&E nurse of 208 Field Hospital, said: "It was a horrendous sight. I just didn't think he would survive. "But he was soon off the life-support machine and was up and about within days. It was just amazing." Major Gallacher, a father-of-four from Caernarfon, North Wales, added: "We knew how the knife was sitting because we had the X-ray. "The knife had come in at an angle and gone down behind his eye and had penetrated the front of his brain. "To have simply pulled the knife out would have been a disaster because you wouldn't have known what damage was behind it."

Would The Real Nic Cage Please Stand Up...

A hilarious story has begun circulating, leaving egg all over the face of Real Madrid president Ramon Calderon. The Guardian reported: “A prankster pretending to be Oscar-winning American actor Nicolas Cage fooled Real Madrid into thinking he was the real thing and enjoyed red carpet treatment at this week’s Champions League match against AS Roma. The lookalike, Italian television presenter Paolo Calabresi, watched Wednesday’s game from the directors’ viewing area at the Bernabeu and was taken into the team dressing room afterwards, Spanish sports daily Marca reported on Saturday. He was even photographed being presented with a personalised Real shirt by club president Ramon Calderon. Calabresi organised the stunt by using the name of an agency in the United States that had recently arranged a similar meeting at the Bernabeu for another actor, Sylvester Stallone.

Florida Takes No Prisoners...

Some "dirtbag" in Polk County Florida who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him. The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times. Now here's the kicker: Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd (pictured), told the Orlando Sentinel :

"That's all the bullets we had !!" (Talk about an all-time classic answer !!!)

Burberry Burkhas Are A Must-Chav

Burkhas have been given a chavtastic facelift with colourful new designs for Muslim women. The new outfits include a chav-like Burberry print design, a camouflage burkha and another with pictures of hundreds of balloons. There is even a Santa Burkha, perfect for the beginning of the next Winter Season. (That last bit might be a tad tongue-in-cheek!!)

Holy High-Heels Robin!

Like a herd of crazed antelope, jockeying and shoving for position, 150 young women thundered down Amsterdam's most famed fashion street in stiletto heels on Thursday, racing for a €10,000 (£7,655) prize. The annual race on the P.C. Hooft street called the 'Stiletto Run' is only three years old - but has quickly grown in popularity and spawned imitation races in Germany, Sweden, Poland and Russia.m The race's motto is 'Shopping is a Sport' and friendly competition is encouraged. 'At the start there was a lot of pushing, you really get elbowed over,' said Fauve Stukje, 18, who came with a small entourage and a big pink sign - but failed to win, show or place.

Holy Helmet Batman!

A builder survived being buried alive by inhaling air trapped in his helmet. Wang Jianxin slowed his breathing by meditation after a mound of earth fell on him.
Rescuers dug out the 52-year-old after 20 minutes and were amazed to find him alive.
Mr Wang, who is a Buddhist, said: 'I knew it [the air] would not last, so I made myself relax and concentrated on slowing my breathing.' Doctors in Ningbo city, China, said Mr Wang would otherwise have been dead in five minutes.

What A Hit Mate!

Australia's Andrew Symonds will not face any action after flattening a streaker during Tuesday's one-day international against India. Robert Ogilivie evaded security and ran on to the pitch during Australia's innings in Brisbane but Symonds floored him with a shoulder tackle. Ogilivie was fined AUS $1,500 (£700) by magistrates for wilful exposure and interfering with a sports event. But Cricket Australia said there was no case for Symonds to answer.

Coincidence Photography

Fastest Limo Faces Ferrari Farrago Flap

A man who made the world's fastest limousine is facing the wrath of an automotive giant – because Ferrari want him to stop calling his car a Ferrari. 36-year-old Dan Cawley built the limo by chopping a Ferrari 360 Modena in half and sticking in an extra 3metres of car, hand-built from carbon fibre. But Ferrari are now demanding that he remove all the Ferrari badges and names from the car, and to stop referring to it as a Ferrari, on the grounds that it isn't a Ferrari any more. If he refuses, Cawley faces legal action for infringing Ferrari's trademark. Furthermore, the car giant are demanding that Cawley never modify one of their cars again. A disgruntled Cawley said: 'What kind of precedent does it set when you can't do what you like with your own property? 'The limousine set the new Guinness World Record for the fastest limo six months ago, reaching a speed of 166mph.

Snap-Happy Man Meets Snap-Happy Croc

A fisherman got a little bit more than he bargained for when he tried to pose for a snap with a crocodile. While it might seem obvious to most people that crocodiles can be a bit fond of biting people, Israeli Novon Mashiah was apparently oblivious to the danger as he posed, grinning and pointing at the 12ft-long saltwater crocodile. But seconds later, his cockiness turned to panic as the creature lunged at him.'One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture. The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed,' said 27-year-old Mashiah. Luckily for him, the crocodile missed him – landing on the boat before slipping back in the water – and he was able to start his outboard motor and get away. The photos were taken from a larger boat by his friend Doron Aviguy. The two Israelis were both working as fishermen on the ominously-named Southern Alligator River in Australia's Northern Territory.'They come near the boat all the time, probably because we are fishing. I was laughing, but it wasn't funny in the end,' said Mashiah of his impromptu wildlife lesson.'I didn't realise that crocs were so aggressive,' he added.'I was shocked. The animal clearly wanted to kill me.'Which is the last thing you'd expect a crocodile to do, obviously.

Attack of the 122Ft Snow Woman

The world's largest snowwoman has been constructed in Bethel, Maine, beating their own record for building giant snow beings. The snowwoman - named Olympia, in honour of Maine's senior Senator, Olympia Snowe - stands an impressive 122ft 1in tall. Bethel's previous record-breaking snowperson was the 114ft tall Angus, King of the Mountain. That snowman, built in 1999, was named after Maine's then Governor, Angus King.