FOR THE FOOTY HEADZ: MOST SPECTACULAR OWN GOAL EVER! RVDV JUGGLES GUM & DI CANIO BLOWING BUBBLES...

Tottenham's Rafael van der Vaart obviously knows about the 'five-second food rule' when he had his famous 'juggle chew' party trick caught on camera before Spurs' recent Champions League quarter-final against old club Real Madrid. Whilst warming up at the Bernabeu, Van der Vaart - obviously unhappy with the flavour of his chewing gum - decided to give it a bit of a kick around to spice things up. The Dutch trickster gave his gum seven touches before he knocked it back into his mouth ending any possibility of it falling on Real Madrid's hollowed turf and upsetting the local ground staff. The 28-year old was obviously pleased with his exploits posting the link to his video and writing on his official Twitter account: ' How do you like this? ;).' Unfortunately for poor Rafa, his tricks with a ball one fifth the size of a normal one didn't translate on the pitch as Spurs' European dreams capitulated before their eyes when Real hammered home four goals.

If you’re going to score an own goal it might as well be when you’re 3-0 down, but this effort from Mansfield’s Tyrone Thompson will still take some forgetting.
The Conference winger sent a spectacular half-volley past his own keeper in the 4-0 defeat to Hayes & Yeading at the weekend to complete the Midlands club’s misery. Having done all the hard work of tracking his man into the box, Thompson inexplicably rifled home from an innocent looking cross with the kind of technique Zinedine Zidane would have been proud of. But the hapless Thompson has some way to go if he intends to displace Chris Brass as one of MetroSport’s favourite own goals of all time. Click here to compare for yourself. The 4-0 defeat leaves Mansfield stuck in mid-table, but Hayes & Yeading have managed to creep away from the drop zone with their second win on the bounce, leaving them three points clear of fellow strugglers Southport.

VIP treatment and the Director’s Box is not for every footballer when he returns to his old club. At the West Ham v Man Utd game, returning Italian fascists prefer it in the middle of the crowd: